fell and still falling

the main problem is that i make no effort and plan on not making one to try and re connect with the spiritual side. its like i'm just acting a christian and not being one. it is hard...it all started like this.

a few months ago i was like the craziest jesus freak ever with my group of jesus freaks and stuff. we wud praise like crazy, go to prayer meetings and alll that. like our lives 24/7 was God God God. and then i dont remember how specifically but me and a buddy (ill call him ken) started to slowly but surely slip away from this phase which turns out was just that...a phase. we knew it too. we would always say "hey man the devil is kickin our asses to the ground right now" and stuff like that. and we tried we really did to stay up and not get kicked down. but lookin at me now ive been kicked to the fullest kickin ever. im sooooo low. i do giv props to the devil for doing a great job but fuck u nigga.

me and ken had a conversation once. we were talking about drinkin etc etc. and we were talkin about some of the jesus freaks and how we couldnt ever see them drinking and stuff like that. but what we did say was......that if they did fall meaning drink or "sin" then that only meant that he or she was gonna be something great in the kingdom of God and the only reason that satan tried so hard to make them fall was because theywould be a big oppstacle for satan to face. thats why satan used all the might he had to try and drop that person...make sense?


We were going to be something great in the army of god and we would have SURELY defeated satan without breaking a sweat. but one by one satan took us down to weaken the army because we played such a vital and impactful role. so if you do fall or see someone fall know this....you are a strong person that is why you fell....but also now you must get back up and fight your battle against motha fucka satan and give him that one more obstacle to face...which is me and you.

hope this made sense.
Peace and love