the main problem is that i make no effort and plan on not making one to try and re connect with the spiritual side. its like i'm just acting a christian and not being one. it is hard...it all started like this.
a few months ago i was like the craziest jesus freak ever with my group of jesus freaks and stuff. we wud praise like crazy, go to prayer meetings and alll that. like our lives 24/7 was God God God. and then i dont remember how specifically but me and a buddy (ill call him ken) started to slowly but surely slip away from this phase which turns out was just that...a phase. we knew it too. we would always say "hey man the devil is kickin our asses to the ground right now" and stuff like that. and we tried we really did to stay up and not get kicked down. but lookin at me now ive been kicked to the fullest kickin ever. im sooooo low. i do giv props to the devil for doing a great job but fuck u nigga.
me and ken had a conversation once. we were talking about drinkin etc etc. and we were talkin about some of the jesus freaks and how we couldnt ever see them drinking and stuff like that. but what we did say was......that if they did fall meaning drink or "sin" then that only meant that he or she was gonna be something great in the kingdom of God and the only reason that satan tried so hard to make them fall was because theywould be a big oppstacle for satan to face. thats why satan used all the might he had to try and drop that person...make sense?
We were going to be something great in the army of god and we would have SURELY defeated satan without breaking a sweat. but one by one satan took us down to weaken the army because we played such a vital and impactful role. so if you do fall or see someone fall know this....you are a strong person that is why you fell....but also now you must get back up and fight your battle against motha fucka satan and give him that one more obstacle to face...which is me and you.
hope this made sense.
Peace and love
Thursday, August 5, 2010
hs
i see everyone from my high school still keeping in touch and talking like no other. i realized that during high school i didn't have one group of super close friends but was almost mediocre with a lot of people. this can be a pro and can be a con depending on who you ask. but i think i do wish that i would have had that one clique that no matter where in the world we went to college or where in the world we went on vacation we would always kit.
but eh people will be people and i will be myself. and i will get judged and criticized for the way i carry myself, but hey i'm just doing and telling it like it is, and yeah a jerk or douche i may be but a fake i am not. id rather be a loner than hang with people that i don't get along with and make me act a certain way so i could try and like them. that's just life, some people just don't connect, the chemistry in personalities just doesn't mix and when i'm around them its just constant conflict.
but eh people will be people and i will be myself. and i will get judged and criticized for the way i carry myself, but hey i'm just doing and telling it like it is, and yeah a jerk or douche i may be but a fake i am not. id rather be a loner than hang with people that i don't get along with and make me act a certain way so i could try and like them. that's just life, some people just don't connect, the chemistry in personalities just doesn't mix and when i'm around them its just constant conflict.
at this point...
at this point in my life spiritually i guess you can say im dead. the fire is no longer burning and church is church, a burden, a place of no wonders anymore, a place not even to go to see my friends. i go and i leave. dont hang out yeah yeah blah blah long story.
at this point in my life in worldly terms, i guess i can say im fine. im having alot of fun waiting to go to college.
at this overall point in my life, ill rate myself on a one to ten basis. ten being everything is at thee most perfect and one being thee worst. i think actually im at a 6 to 7 ish area. the reason being it not being at a full ten varies from reason to reason and situation to situation. i wont write what those things are but yeah they do take a toll. sooooo here is where i am.
at this point in my life in worldly terms, i guess i can say im fine. im having alot of fun waiting to go to college.
at this overall point in my life, ill rate myself on a one to ten basis. ten being everything is at thee most perfect and one being thee worst. i think actually im at a 6 to 7 ish area. the reason being it not being at a full ten varies from reason to reason and situation to situation. i wont write what those things are but yeah they do take a toll. sooooo here is where i am.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
been a while again
Damn homies its been too long. a few long several months. and i thought i was the only one who stopped this but lookin around i guess people still do blog. that made me happy.
but anyways im not a graduate of san pedro high school class of 2010. good times there really. and now im off to uc riverside.
itll be interesting to see which friends i will meet and who sticks around from the friends i have now. anywaysss it was a good senior year. i had alot of fun doing my thing meeting new folks saying goodbye to others and dealing with moving on.
spiritually im gone but still belive u know? but as a human im all good, having fun haning out more than ever getting ready for college.
its gonna be tuff trying to kit with everyone but thank god for facebook right? and hopefully ill see people around at church here and there and for the people who go out of state ill see yall doing breaks.
i wanted to go out of state but it was too damn expensive. i lowkey hate the people going away cuz damn man nothing like movin out right even thhough im dorming at ucr. but new york, washington, arizona, oregon, comon man its way better there. but oh well work with what i got.
so ill try and blog more often hopefully my first year which starts sept 20 isnt too busy or bad. ill keep yall posted more frequently.
but anyways im not a graduate of san pedro high school class of 2010. good times there really. and now im off to uc riverside.
itll be interesting to see which friends i will meet and who sticks around from the friends i have now. anywaysss it was a good senior year. i had alot of fun doing my thing meeting new folks saying goodbye to others and dealing with moving on.
spiritually im gone but still belive u know? but as a human im all good, having fun haning out more than ever getting ready for college.
its gonna be tuff trying to kit with everyone but thank god for facebook right? and hopefully ill see people around at church here and there and for the people who go out of state ill see yall doing breaks.
i wanted to go out of state but it was too damn expensive. i lowkey hate the people going away cuz damn man nothing like movin out right even thhough im dorming at ucr. but new york, washington, arizona, oregon, comon man its way better there. but oh well work with what i got.
so ill try and blog more often hopefully my first year which starts sept 20 isnt too busy or bad. ill keep yall posted more frequently.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
been so long
dang almost forgot i even had a blog anymore. low key good to be bak though i missed it.
update on me i guess:
going to attend UC Riverside in the fall
graduate from San Pedro High School on June 17 @2 pm
doing ok.
volleyball season is sadly over. i might never play agagin unless i play incollege. we made first round and lost. it was truly a great exerience to have played for the Pirates for 4 years. My coach Kyle Ross is the best had out of my 10ish number of coaches. and wags of course.
spiritually im e not good but life is great for me. fell so hard dont even wanna get back up u know?
school is almost done. AP testing is all done. seniors dont need to take CST finals so im all good. tryin to get by and finish not strong but DOable.
PROMMMMM is this weekend may 15 @7 at the roosevelt hotel in HOLLYwood baby. gon be fun. goin wit a grl from mi escualea. mucho gusto la nina. if that made sense.
gonna miss alot of underclassmen from both church and schoo when i go off and to KIT is hard but ll try not to get lazy on that if anything.
trying to figure who my "real" buddies are. someone told mein college ull see who ur real friends are and indeed that is true.
so...till next time
Peace and love er body
update on me i guess:
going to attend UC Riverside in the fall
graduate from San Pedro High School on June 17 @2 pm
doing ok.
volleyball season is sadly over. i might never play agagin unless i play incollege. we made first round and lost. it was truly a great exerience to have played for the Pirates for 4 years. My coach Kyle Ross is the best had out of my 10ish number of coaches. and wags of course.
spiritually im e not good but life is great for me. fell so hard dont even wanna get back up u know?
school is almost done. AP testing is all done. seniors dont need to take CST finals so im all good. tryin to get by and finish not strong but DOable.
PROMMMMM is this weekend may 15 @7 at the roosevelt hotel in HOLLYwood baby. gon be fun. goin wit a grl from mi escualea. mucho gusto la nina. if that made sense.
gonna miss alot of underclassmen from both church and schoo when i go off and to KIT is hard but ll try not to get lazy on that if anything.
trying to figure who my "real" buddies are. someone told mein college ull see who ur real friends are and indeed that is true.
so...till next time
Peace and love er body
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